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Writer's pictureJamie Denty

Do You Know the Velveteen Rabbit?


When our daughter, long an avid reader, was a teenager, one of her friends gave her a copy of The Velveteen Rabbit by Margery Williams. Until that gift, our daughter had never heard of her friend’s long time favorite. Neither had I. After our daughter read this children’s classic, she shared it with me.


As I read it, I couldn’t believe that I had never encountered this parable nor read it to our children. Finally, I began to put the dates together. The book, written and published in Europe in 1922, reached the United States audience after my mother was a child so she never read it; and not knowing of its existence, she didn’t read it to me.


For years, it was out of print and only in more recent years has it been reissued. I still had never heard of it when our children were young and it was never recommended to me. However, after making this discovery late in life, it has now become my favorite gift to give new babies.


As I told this tale to a friend, she said that she was also unfamiliar with the book until she was in college where she worked part time at the Methodist Student Center. The minister who served as campus director used the book often even though it was out of print at the time. One of my friend’s jobs was to contact used book stores in search of discarded copies. The minister told her that there was more theology in this one thin volume than in most of the books he had studied in seminary.


So, I was delighted Mother’s Day when our daughter gave me a copy of The Velveteen Principles: A Guide to Becoming Real, Hidden Wisdom from a Children’s Classic by psychotherapist Toni Raiten-D’Antonio. I read this little volume almost as quickly as I had read the children’s book.


Raiten-D’Antonio begins her tale by recounting the time she listened to her older daughter, a beginning reader, read The Velveteen Rabbit to her sister, a mere toddler. As the psychotherapist listened to the words again, this time in a child’s voice, she heard the lessons anew and began to apply them to her own life. Then, she began to share these insights with her clients. Their success stories in applying the complex strategies from this simple text over the next ten years prompted her to put these principles into book form.


She writes, “The Velveteen Rabbit is much more than a heartfelt tale. It is a classic parable, with the subtle power to provoke our deepest desires and inspire reflection. It reminds us of basic truths about our heartfelt longings. We all hope to live through life’s challenges and grow beautiful and valuable and loved for what we are on the inside, for our Real selves.”


Thus, in the rereading and applying the lessons within this children’s classic, she has discovered a dozen principles to assist those who live in today’s chaotic world. The editor writes, “The Velveteen Principles is a guide to becoming Real - Real with ourselves. Real with our hopes and desires. Real with the people we love, and Real with everyone else, too. Through the simple wisdom of a children’s classic, it invites us to strip off the trappings of the object culture and remember the things that make us unique, happy and worthy of love.”


The author summarizes, “If you become more Real in your own life and bring that to your relationships, you are practically guaranteed to leave behind an inspiring example for others. Your life’s message will encourage everyone you touch to live with a sense of wonder, curiosity and openness rather than cynicism and fear. It will say, “I was Real. And you can be Real, too.”


Of all the principles, I found myself nodding in agreement the most with number two: “Real is a Process.” She begins the chapter with an exchange between the Skin Horse and the Velveteen Rabbit of the children’s book about how toys become real. The Skin Horse says, “It doesn’t happen all at once. You become. It takes a long time. That’s why it doesn’t often happen to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or have to be carefully kept.”


Raiten-D’Antonio comments, “While the Object culture stresses instant gratification, the best science, philosophy and theology support the idea that a satisfying life occurs in the long process of establishing and maintaining relationships, talents, meaningful work and service to others.” Then she quotes philosopher Kierkegaard who said, “Life is not a problem to be solved, but a reality to be experienced,” and Thomas La Mance who said, “Life is what happens to us when we are making other plans.”

The mark of a good children’s book not only speaks to the young listener, but also to the adult who is reading it aloud. The Velveteen Rabbit certain meets this criteria. And The Velveteen Principles assists these same adult readers to comprehend what children, not burdened with the cares of the world, can see so easily.

2005

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