Not long ago, I overheard a grandfather tell an adult grandson who was driving across the state, “Don’t turn up the radio so loud that you can’t see where you are going.”
The grandson smiled. He had heard this message ever since he had started driving. Likewise, so had his dad, aunt, uncle, brother, and cousins.
“I promise,” the young man responded.
The more I thought about that seemingly skewed advice, I realized how valid it is, not only for driving, but for all of life. If we want to succeed in our goals, we cannot allow ourselves to be distracted by the cacophony around us. And these days with 24-hour news service, choice of music while on phone hold, the escalating chatter in a restaurant, we deliberately have to focus on our own purpose and direction. Too often these days, the person with the loudest voice can bully others into kowtowing to his view, however skewed it may be. Most often, shouting is just more commotion.
Accidents occur when we’re distracted. Likewise, diversion from our goals can also lead to wasted motion, wasted time and wasted patience. Yet, detours are inevitable in driving long distances and in working toward goals.
It’s no secret that in traveling, I prefer the backroads where I can see individuals at work and play versus the freeway where anonymity drives with a heavy foot all around. While many folks are intent in getting from Point A to Point B in the quickest amount of time, meandering can often offer new insights. Considering various options is not distraction while one ponders the pros and cons. I am reminded of one of my husband's coworkers, an engineer, whose colleagues marveled that he always explored numerous options for approaching a project before he settling on the one he deemed best.
Good advice on one topic often can apply to all phases of living. The listener has to make the connection.
Christina Desmarais, in writing for Inc. Magazine, talked with 28 executives who shared the best advice their fathers ever gave them. And while these career-oriented men and women took the wise words to heart in climbing the corporate ladder, some of the exhortations spoke to areas of life far beyond the business world.
Jennifer M. Jackson, VP of Hungry Howie’s pizza franchise, says, “The best advice I ever received from my dad is to always surround yourself with great people. You never want to be the smartest person in the room; you want individuals that will challenge you to think outside of the box.”
Smart people don’t hang with smart people just to be in an exclusive clique. Smart people know that they grow from the challenge that others can present. We should all strive to grow and learn our entire lives. We all should want to be lifelong learners. When we think we know all there is to know and there is nothing to learn, we aren’t smart at all.
Drew D’Agostino, CEO of Crystal, which provides millions of personality assessments annually, says that his dad is the living example of his advice that “every stranger can teach you something.” He says, “My dad, a hard working carpenter, can get almost anyone to open up and speak about what is truly meaningful to them…He asks real questions.”
Once we, no matter how smart we may think we are, can acknowledge that we can learn something from everyone we encounter, the smarter we will be. When was the last time we asked “real questions” to learn from another? Too often we too busy trying to tell them what we know.
Neka Pasquale, licensed acupuncturist, author and founder of Urban Remedy, says, “My dad always taught me to treat everyone with the same respect…The more you help others the more good actually comes back to you and the fuller your heart.”
In many ways, these dads know that real success doesn’t stop with the bottom line. While every business demands monetary profit to to stay viable, these fathers also directed their young to realize that we share the world with others, many of whom have lessons to teach us if we stop and listen, if we don’t turn the radio up so loud we can’t see where we are going.
May the advice that each father gives his children be wise enough to bless not only his own young, but also everyone else with whom they come in contact.
Happy Father’s Day.
2022