In Elizabeth Berg’s short story, “Take this Quiz,” the character Jack says, “I’ll tell you something, Ursula. I never saw much point in asking yourself if you are happy, never saw the reason for that obsessive kind of self inventory. It bores me. I’m a simple guy, Ursula. I love you and the kids. I like cars. I don’t ask for a lot more than for us all to be together and healthy.”
Not long ago, I heard that the happiest people are the ones who never question their own state of happiness. Yet, if we watch much television beyond war coverage or pick up a slick magazine, we inevitably find people searching for that seemingly illusive substance called “happiness.”
Our children still tease me about a phrase I would use with them when they were young. If they couldn’t go to sleep or if they had awaken from a bad dream, I would always say, “Think happy thoughts. Think about your birthday. Think about how you felt when you received an award. Think about the best book you’ve read.”
Tease as they may, “Stress Free in 10 minutes,” by Peter Jaret in the April issue of Reader’s Digest lists “Think Happy” as one of the seven ways to reduce stress. Jaret quotes psychologist Frederic Luskin, a researcher at Stanford University. “A lot of the stress we experience comes from negative emotions we carry around with us - grudges, anger, hurt. Just thinking about someone you’re angry with - a boss who’s a jerk, a friend who has hurt your feelings - can cause damaging stress hormones to flood the system. Thinking of people and things you love have the opposite effect.”
Not long ago, I heard psychologist Dr. Martin E. P. Seligman, author of Learned Optimism, discuss his latest work, Authentic Happiness. Although psychology has its roots in prevention and treatment of mental illness, a variety of studies especially in the last half of the twentieth century have focused on positive psychology - what’s right with us and how can we make it even better. In this interview, Dr. Seligman emphasized that people can make themselves happier by strengthening their strengths - their virtues.
Since I use the same philosophy of strengthening strengths in the teaching of writing, I bought the book. Certainly in most areas of our lives, we want to strengthen our weaknesses, but Dr. Seligman points out that we often accomplish that feat by first strengthening our strengths. I’ve found that same premise true in my attempt to remove the fear element from the craft of writing.
During wartime, is it all right to be happy? In the preface, Dr. Seligman writes, “Since September 11, 2001, I have pondered the relevance of Positive Psychology. In times of trouble, does the understanding and alleviating of suffering trump the understanding and building of happiness? I think not. People who are impoverished, depressed, or suicidal care about much more than just the relief of their suffering. These persons care sometimes desperately - about virtue, about purpose, about integrity, and about meaning. Experiences that induce positive emotion cause negative emotion to dissipate rapidly. The strengths and virtues, as we will see, function to buffer against misfortune and against the psychological disorders, and they may be the key to building resilience. The best therapists do not merely heal damage; they help people identify and build their strengths and their virtues.”
I’ll tell you a little secret. This book is not hedonistic. However, Dr. Seligman does discuss the pros and cons of instant gratification. As I was reading this book, actor Christopher Reeves recovered his sense of smell through some new medical techniques. He said, “I woke up and smelled the coffee.” I understood what he meant. For me, my first cup of freshly brewed, steaming hot coffee of the day provides instant gratification. I savor it. I count it one of the many small blessings that make up most of my days.
Once, he explores instant gratifications and the optimist versus pessimist premise, Dr. Seligman moves into the substance of his book. What are people’s strengths? The researchers began by reading the basic writings of all major religious and philosophical traditions for the past 3,000 years to catalogue virtues and to see if any showed up in almost all of them. They came up with six universal virtues: wisdom and knowledge, courage, love and humanity, justice, temperance, spirituality and transcendence. Dr. Seligman writes, “The details differ, of course; what courage means to a samurai differs from what it means to Plato...but the commonality is real and to those of us raised as ethical relevists, pretty remarkable. This unpacks the meaning of the claim that human beings are moral animals.”
Armed with this catalogue, Dr. Seligman and his research moved on “to the routes - the strengths of character - by which we achieve the virtues.” This book is filled with tests to determine one’s present level of happiness and one’s signature strengths. Even in our strengths, we are different. The book also gives directions for taking the tests on-line in order to compare one’s scores with others nationally or internationally.
Equally interesting is the research that throughout the world, money does not make people happier. As expected, one needs enough income to meet the basic needs of humanity. That makes us happy. Once income surpasses the mark of necessity anywhere in the world, one’s level of happiness is not influenced by one’s wealth.
One of the main thrusts in this body of research lies in the fact that to be truly happy, one must have a sense of accomplishment, a feeling of having made the world a better place. According to Dr. Seligman, we can achieve that goal when we strengthen our own strengths of character and use “these strengths in the service of something larger to obtain meaning.” In other words, humans, to be really happy, must feel as if they have earned enduring happiness. Instant gratifications are truly fleeting.
As I read this book, I felt as if I had heard so much of the information before. Of course, I had...from the Bible. The researchers had read it, too. God knows that which we must learn.
2003
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