As we neared the entrance to an out-of-town restaurant, a mother with a baby in arms and a three-year-old Shirley Temple look-alike leading the way approached the same portal from the opposite direction. Bob held the door for them to exit. As they did, the precocious preschooler stopped, looked up at Bob and with all the enthusiasm her little heart could muster, grinned and said in a stage voice, “Thank you!”
Knowing that her offspring not only had learned her manners well, but also had executed them without prompting, the mother passed with a big smile and her own nod of gratitude. There wasn’t even the hint of that old familiar phrase many of us have used to nudge our own young, “Now, what do you say to the nice man?” This child’s expression of appreciation for a simple act of courtesy was heartfelt and sincere.
A few weeks later in the campground we shared with the hurricane evacuees, a little girl, tiny in stature, entered the restroom as I was almost ready to exit. She immediately poured liquid soap from a bottle into her hands and rubbed them together. As she approached the sink, I asked, “Can you reach it?”
“Yes ma’am. But could you please turn the faucet on? I forgot to before I put soap all over my hands.”
I turned the knob and the child, standing on tiptoe, put her hands under the water to rinse them. Again, without any prompting, but in a much quieter voice than the first child, she whispered, “thank you” with as much expression as if I had returned her damaged home to her.
As always, we know lessons have been taught and learned well whenever young apply them without parental prompting, or even better, when they are away from their parents. When I was teaching, I daily encountered students who demonstrated often the lessons they had learned at home, at church and in school.
I have long contemplated the fact that our favorite season of Christmas actually begins immediately after we give thanks. Oh, I remember that we used to complain that Christmas decorations went up long before Thanksgiving. Now we rarely notice that some appear before Halloween. And some never come down all year.
Thanksgiving is the start of an busier, hectic time. After all, the day after Thanksgiving has long been the busiest shopping day in America. At this point, many merchants know whether or not it has been a good business year or not.
However, as Thanksgiving nears, I continue to hear the clear ring of sincerity in those two young voices. Many of us are already in preparation of this holiday filled with food, family and football so we can move on to more important things. And if we have time, we might remember to repeat the perfunctory grace before the feast.
In Surrendering to God, Keith Beasley-Topliffe praises those many prayers we learned by rote as children, even “God is good, God is great, and we thank him for our food.” In response to a parishioner’s complaint about repeating the same old prayers, he explains, “What we needed was not to pray different prayers, but to pay more attention to the prayer we already knew...As we accept the work of paying attention to what we are saying, particularly when praying in private, we move deeper and deeper into prayer...One of the first things that happens when we begin to slow down and pay attention to what we are saying in verbal prayer is that the prayer begins to speak to us as well as to God.”
Likewise, giving thanks to a stranger for an act of kindness, to a neighbor for an act of neighborliness, to a family member for an unsuspected surprise, or to God for his gifts, our words should rise up from a grateful heart deep within, not just by rote. Mere repetition of words, unthinking and without a joyful sense, are meaningless both to us and to those with whom we are speaking.
From the very tone of our voice, will God know that we actually mean what we say? Can He see it in our hearts? Can we feel the warmth of gratitude arising within? Does our appreciation for our many blessings extend far beyond the words we utter into concrete help for our neighbors wherever they live? If so, then we will have given thanks.
2005
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