Years ago, we were invited to a "black hat" party out of town. I knew that black tie attire was very formal, but I had never heard of black hat. I scoured the etiquette books in the public library and asked everyone I knew. There was not one listing for a "black hat" party. No one I asked had any inkling of what the invitation meant.
I opted to wear a navy crepe pants suit; Bob wore a sports jacket and slacks. Most of the other guests came in a variety of attire. The hosts dressed western. Big fans of Hopalong Cassidy, they thought everyone would catch the subtle hint. No one did. In black and white B-western movies, Cassidy was the only hero to wear a black hat. All the other heroes wore white hats and left the black ones to the villains. Despite the confusion about dress, most people seemed to have a good time at the party.
Memories of that strange invitation came flooding back when I watched the Olympic torch ceremony in Washington D.C. on television. President Bush, a Texas cowboy, appeared in western attire, complete with a white Stetson. As he blended his remarks about the upcoming games in Salt Lake City, the terrorists' attacks on New York City and the nation's capitol, and the war in Afghanistan, the symbolism of his attire became very clear. We, the country attacked, were the good guys. We could wear the white hats. We would win.
Ever since September 11, the entire country has reverted to symbols as one means to cope with the trauma of the tragic events. Recently, I read about a new car game to play with children. As this family drove through cities, they would count the American flags on homes. When they came to a home without one, the game started over in its counting.
Patriotic songs have made their way into a variety of programs across the nation. The primary purpose for the gathering may not be patriotic, but it provides one more opportunity to express openly a feeling of unity.
Even the Olympic torch, a very visible image, as it makes it way across the host country, is symbolic of competition that can be very good.
Then, this country sent thousands of miniature American flags into space on the latest mission. Upon return to earth, those flags were given to the families of the victims.
As I have observed so many efforts to make a statement, especially like sending the flags into outer space, I know that the recipients would much prefer to have their loved ones at home rather than another symbolic flag. Yet, I also know that it can be a healing balm for grieving people to realize that others haven't forgotten their loss.
At times of any death, we send flowers and cards, take food, give eulogies, offer comforting words in an attempt to ease another's pain. Even with the numbness that encompasses mourners, most are aware of the caring. And while it doesn't change the situation at all, the outpouring does bring comfort.
Likewise, all of our efforts as a people to demonstrate a unity doesn't eliminate the horror of what happened. However, the very act of doing something, anything, makes us feel more in control of our own lives.
As Hopalong Cassidy and his fans tried years ago to illustrate, good guys can wear black hats, too. Few issues in life are simply resolved by the color of hat we choose to wear. But as we've seen in the past few months, symbolic acts, like good friends, can offer comfort.
2002
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