Sitting in the car Saturday while waiting for one of our youngsters to run an errand, I witnessed a very poignant scene.
Two young children had been left in a car while their parents shopped. Bored with the waiting, they amused themselves by annoying anyone happened to be around. For an endless few minutes, they played a variety of selections on the auto horn.
When this distraction did not bring the parents back to them, they searched for other amusement. With a number of people passing on the sidewalk, the older child began to call out. At first, he merely shouted a “hello.” But as time and more people passed, his greetings were not so polite. “Hi, old man!” “Hello, fat lady!”
And then, a young man of another race passed. The child yelled, loud enough to be heard by all, a very degrading comment. The man stopped, slowly turned around, and replied curtly that he didn’t appreciate such comments; and if they were repeated, he would physically show the child how much he disliked it. The child had enough common sense to keep quiet. He maintained his silence until his parents returned.
The younger child was a toddler, following the brother’s lead. The more vocal child was young enough not to realize the meaning of what he had shouted. But the expression on his face looked as if he understood all too well.
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While I do not know either child nor his parents nor do I assume to analyze the “whys” of such behavior, the situation did make me reflect. How often people - adults, teens and children - strive to make themselves appear bigger by trying to make someone else look smaller.
It happens with great regularity in business, government, clubs, athletics, churches, even families. For it seems whenever a person feels he’s not as successful as he desires, he compensates by attacking others. It may be a catty remark to or about the person; it may be derogatory - such as the child uttered; it may be a vindictive act in return for real or imagined hurts; it may be a very cutting remark spoken “for the person’s own good.” It may be an attempt to psych out a competitor. But, it falls way below the realm of a truly competitive spirit.
Whatever form the attack takes, it is heard; just as the passerby heard the child. And like the passerby, the belittled person, often stoops to retaliate.
Even though the one assaulted may make himself small by his response, the assailant doesn’t ever full gain the bigness he so desperately seeks. He might succeed in making the other look small, but he never succeeds in lengthening his own statue. And therein, lies the fallacy of the whole pitiful scene.
For, truly big people, the truly great ones grow even bigger, even greater as they assists others to grow, to reach out, to succeed. And they never even know how tall they stand.
1976
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