After months of suffering with numbness in her leg and pain in her back, the young mother underwent back surgery. The operation was pronounced successful, and the mother recuperated well in the hospital. After the brief respite in bed, the mother was sent home with strict instructions to rest, to take it easy, to avoid any stress on her back, to be careful.
Her three children were so glad to have her home that they were attentive to her every need...for awhile. Soon, the novelty of a convalescing mother wore off and they began to follow their own interests.
However, each of them were quick to chastise Mother if she should violate doctor’s orders. And so one day, as the mother bent over to pick up clutter strewn across the living room floor, the middle child shouted, “You’re not supposed to do that!”
“If each you would just put away your belongings, I wouldn’t be tempted to bend over,” the mother responded.
The young teenager, shaking her head in disbelief, looked around the room. Everything seemed to be in order to her, and she told her mother that she didn’t see anything wrong.
At that point, the mother walked around and pointed out all of the items out of place.
The child, still shaking her head, said, “I just don’t have mother eyes.”
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All mothers have that uncanny ability to see anything or anyone out of place, especially in our own homes. We’re even teased about having eyes in the backs of our heads. Sometimes, we even wonder about that eerie ability to see what is happening behind our backs. We never have been aware of such a trait before we had children. However, since we’ve assumed at least half (if not more) of the moral obligation to raise our children so that they become their own responsible beings reaching full potential, we have trained ourselves to look, to see, to hear, to feel.
Once our firstborn is placed in our arms, we begin to look as we never have before. With both eyes and fingers, we explore every inch of this new creature, from the fine down (or wild mop) atop the head to the tiny feet already wiggling to be freed from the comforting swaddling. We know our children.
And that strong sense of observation only grows stronger as our children grow older. We know when something has gone awry from the look in their eyes, from the slouch of their shoulder, from the tone of their voice, from the clothes they want to wear, the music they listen to, the friends they choose. By the same check list, we also know when they feel blessed. And we want them to feel blessed, but not entitled. We want them to be good people.
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Early on, we learn that our children also have eyes, maybe not “mother eyes” but they see us for who we are and they learn. Always, we teach the most lessons by example. Likewise, we all learn best from example. We learn facts and data from words in books and from teachers. We learn how to live from watching our parents.
As mothers with that keen sense of sight, we realize that our children are observing us, too. And therein lies the rub. For them to grow in wisdom and knowledge, we, too, must grow. It is our greatest challenge in raising our children.
Perhaps, actress Helen Hunt says it best. “I can’t tell if I’m a better person, exactly, but I know motherhood makes you want to be a better person. The only way your child learns is by watching you.”
Happy Mother’s Day.
2011
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