During the multiple eulogies about the late First Lady Barbara Bush in April was a simple line: “She showed up.” While literacy was the foremost cause she supported, she was also a strong advocate of volunteerism. She supported many causes.
Those who knew this outspoken woman said that she didn’t have to speak about a cause to support it. She would just “show up,” and her mere presence was testimony enough.
Woody Allen once quipped that “Eighty percent of success in life is just showing up.”
Bill Gates, Sr, father of Microsoft’s Bill Gates, has written a memoir called, Showing Up for Life. He says, “I’m 83 years old. Representing the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation and everyone who is a part of it has given me the opportunity to see more of the world and its rich possibilities than most people ever do. I never imagined that I’d be working this late in life, or enjoying it so much.”
This man, who has worked along side Nelson Mandela and Jimmy Carter, writes about the fear of being poor, the exhilaration of working hard, the love in raising a family, the good fortune to travel.
Most of us show up physically for work, for duty, even for volunteerism. The real secret of a productive life is finding pleasure in the work, the duty, the volunteerism. We don’t always have the opportunity to do what we think we want to do.
I am reminded of my dad. The Depression kept him from going to college and pursuing a career in geology, an up and coming field in Texas in the 1930s. He ended up in the grocery business like the rest of the men in his family. He became a butcher by trade and eventually owned his own store. Like any entrepreneur, he faced headaches in the mere operation of a business. But he loved people, and he found pleasure in serving them.
My mother was unaware of the many times he reached out to help someone in need until she, after his death, found a large collection of thank you notes at the store and listened to those who told her about the time he helped them.
We may not end up in the occupation we planned, but as so many people, in addition to my dad, have learned, we can make a difference when we show up mentally and spiritually for work. As a reporter, I’ve told the stories of so many Wayne Countians who literally showed up for work and found a calling.
Two other authors write about a different kind of “showing up.” They address the issue of the seriously ill, the terminally ill, the families of the deceased. What do you say to these people?
Kate Bowler who, defines herself as a Duke Divinity School professor, author and incurable optimist, wrote Everything Happens for a Reason and Other Lies I Have Loved, during and after she battled stage four colon cancer. She was 35 years old, a wife and mother of a toddler when she received the frightening diagnosis. In this book where she explores her own doubts and beliefs, she writes, “My people showed up. She (the sick person) wants your presence more than an uplighting card…Sit with her and watch game shows.”
Novelist Emilie Richards, a minister’s wife who writes about a terminally ill character in One Mountain Away, says, “The only way to help anybody was to walk beside them…simple be there.”
While Bowler certainly makes her point about the importance of showing up to be present for someone ill, I take exception with her dismissal of cards. When I was seriously ill, I was too sick to want anyone around me. But, the long distance cards that showed up in the mail each day boosted my spirits. They touched me deeply. And the people who wrote frequently during those dismal days taught me that being remembered helps in healing.
With each card, I was reminded of my friend Dorothy who sent cards on a regular basis to countless folks. In our travels, I’ve encountered people who, upon learning I was from Wayne County, asked if I knew Dorothy. They, too, had been card recipients. To me, that’s also showing up in a caring way.
2018
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