These people in my house, in my life: They are everything. We’re going to lose so much. We don’t need to lose this, too, this time we actually have. I think brightly to myself: Be here now…The small kindnesses that will become who we were during this time. That will become who we are after it. Author Catherine Newman
During this pandemic, we see, on television, daily acts of kindness, generosity, empathy again and again. We are often the recipients of kind acts. Many of us want to help. Some of us have found that staying out of the way is the best help we can give. That, and donating to the charities we support.
However, others have opportunity to rise to the occasion and have taken it. One of my former Texas students, now residing in a senior retirement home in Europe, met her new neighbors the week before Covid-19 hit their country. After lockdown, she and one of her neighbors began developing a friendship. Her neighbor, without any family, learned she had terminal cancer and asked my friend to serve as her power of attorney. A retired United Nations communications specialist, my friend assisted her new friend into a palliative living situation. She spent as much time with the lady as she could. And now she grieves for her. She truly became her “sister’s” keeper.
Most of us don’t have great opportunities to extend great kindnesses in these days. As Newman says, even within the confines of our own home, we can make a difference with small kindnesses; and for that, I am grateful.
All through my life, even as a young girl, I was aware of the powerful effects of small kindnesses. I especially remembering my family moving the summer I was 12. I was to attend another elementary school for a half year before moving on to junior high. It wasn’t long before the girl who lived a couple of doors down came to meet me. She wasn’t only my friend during the summer, but when we walked together to Lida Hooe Elementary, she introduced me to her lifelong friends and made a spot for me at their lunch table. These small gestures, enormous to me or anyone else who has moved to a new school, led to a friendship enduring these many years later. I am grateful for my friend.
Over the years, I’ve thanked those who have opened doors for me, both literally and metaphorically. Few of us ever enjoyed even small successes without the assistance of another. I would never want to return to my first place of employment, working ten hours a day to make the same product day after day. But those ladies who worked in that electronics shop taught me so much more than merely how to make a single part for an early computer. Daily, they demonstrated the importance of teamwork, of seeking perfection in every motion, of taking pride in one’s work, of appreciating the work ethic. I am grateful for employment there every summer I was in college and for the lessons I learned with that job.
As an adult, I have been showered with kindnesses time and again. From gifts of food to cards of encouragement, from a timely phone call to someone listening. Some kindnesses I remember fondly like the time our minister showed up at our house minutes after I learned my grandmother was dying. He said he was driving by and felt he was needed. So, he stopped. I am still grateful.
There have been small kindnesses from strangers - offer of a shopping cart, a friendly good morning wish, a smile -all at times when each one touched my heart, slowed me down, reminded me to be grateful. Thanksgiving reminds us to be grateful year round.
Perhaps Jens Stoltenberg, Secretary General of NATO says it best. “When autumn darkness falls, what we will remember are the small acts of kindness: a cake, a hug, an invitation to talk, and every single rose. These are all expressions of a nation coming together and caring about its people.”
2020
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