The December 2017 issue of Good Housekeeping Magazine, in two separate articles, features observations about kindness. In one, Britain’s Prince Harry, Prince Henry of Wales, says, “In this clickbait culture, we cannot waste time sharing things that make us angry. We are happier when we work in the service of others.”
And America’s movie royal, Julia Roberts, says, “I think we need to stop criticizing. Honestly, it’s become a sport - at lunch, on line, wherever. ‘I can’t believe the way she’s wearing her hair,’ or “He looks so...’ It’s all so petty and we’re grown up people. There have to be more interesting things to note about one another. ..and I’m talking to myself here, too, because I find the sarcasm and the criticism like that very humorous, but there’s a time when you go, ‘Well why don’t I say all of the true and kind things.”
Both speak good advice for us all. As Valentine’s Day approaches, perhaps we should focus less on the material gifts of cards, flowers and candy and a little more on the way we treat people, loved ones especially.
In the magazine interview with Lindsey Benoit, Roberts explains how a little children’s book, Wonder, by R. J. Palacio, made such an impact on her life. She, who told her agent that she wanted to play the mom in the movie, had selected this book to read to her own children, twins, Hazel and Phinneaus, 13, and Henry, 10.
“I’m the designated reader,” she says because she uses a different voice for each character. Sometimes her children ask, “Mommy can you just use your regular voice?”
Wonder, the best selling print book for 2017, is the story of ten-year-old Augie Pullman, born with severe facial differences. Having been home schooled for several years, he enters a private school in the fifth grade. Palacio tells the story from the point of view, not only of Augie, but also that of his sister and others around him.
The idea for the book grew out of an embarrassing incident for the author. She and her younger son were at an ice cream shop next to a child with severe craniofacial differences. Her son cried. Wanting to avoid hurting the little girl’s feelings, Palacio rushed to leave, spilling milkshakes and created a scene herself. She says, “What could I be teaching my children so they could understand how to respond better next time. I was disappointed in myself. I started writing Wonder that very night.”
Before there was a movie, one of my former students, now a language arts teacher, recommended it to me. She explained that she wanted to introduce a comparative literature study using Wonder and Wolf Hollow by Lauren Wolk for her middle grade students. I read both books. I saw the movie. Wonder has passed the test for a really good children’s book. Adults enjoy reading (or seeing) it as much as children do. Both books deal with the pain that bullying can cause.
I also watched ABC’s documentary, “Wonder Boy” by Elizabeth Vargas who spent three years following the life of a real life child, Nathaniel Newman, who has severe craniofacial differences. Both Nathaniel and Augie have undergone numerous surgeries, not to correct deformities, but to improve quality of life.
The book was not based on Nathaniel. But rather the book came out when this real life child entered fifth grade. Prior to moving to a new school, Nathaniel had written a letter to his classmates introducing himself. It helped, but Nathaniel’s dad, Russ, says that the book has done more than anything in the world to ease the way for children like his son. The family says that it is their story.
Vargas adds, “It really stretches credulity, the similarities between art and life are so strong.”
Augie’s teacher begins the first day of fifth grade by introducing the concept of Precepts for Life. He plans to introduce a new one each month. The first one: “When given the choice between being right or being kind, choose kind. - Dr. Wayne Dyre (motivational speaker).”
We all want to be right. It makes us feel good. After all, right is right. However, as the book and movie points out, being kind makes us feel even better. Valentine’s Day is a good time to put that wise precept into practice for life.
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