“The things people discard tell more about them than the things they keep.” Hilda Lawrence, The Pavilion.
When I first read this stand-alone quote in the pages of Real Simple Magazine, I paused. What do my discards say about me? Not long ago I trashed my 25-30 year-old food processor after it had literally died on me while I was mincing a quart of onions. (I can verify that a blender doesn’t do the same job.) So, what does this discard say?
Does it acknowledge that I want utilitarian items to last for a lifetime or at least be repairable? How sad for me to take an appliance to be repaired, only to be told that the company no longer makes parts for it. In this instance, the more costly replacement processor doesn’t work nearly as well as the cheaper one I literally wore out.
I also toss tons of newspapers. There is no recycling program in our area and I am too lazy to save and haul my recyclables to the nearest place, at least an hour’s drive away. However, I like to read newspapers and I do not feel guilty because paper is made from a renewable source - trees; it also is biodegradable. I like trees; I like green spaces. I’d much rather see acres and acres of pine tree farms than more developments. I do pass along my magazines to family members.
I’m sure future archeologists and anthropologists could gather other non-important notions about me from my trash. Those two professions certainly agree with Lawrence who made this profound statement in her 1946 mystery, The Pavilion. (Because I’m curious as to how this line actually fits into her thriller, I’m still looking for a copy to read.)
However, this same erudite observation led me to consider whether or not it could also be a truism about gossipers and trash talkers, those masters of the inflammatory insult, regardless of whom they may injure. A friend once described such folks as has having “diarrhea of the mouth.”
When did society make it acceptable to speak ill of anyone and everyone who has a different opinion in every conceivable format - blogs, tweets, chat rooms, e-mails, texts, letters-to-the-editor, talk radio, left and right wing television shows, conversation? Well, maybe not conversation. Word bullies rarely confront their targets face to face. Google “trash talk.” There are hundreds, maybe thousands, of sites to teach already negative thinkers how to dis anyone and everything. It must be big business.
Is it any wonder then that our young emulate this crude adult behavior in their text messages and chats on line, even with people they call friend? Once again, our children have followed the bad example we have set by either our actions or our failure to repudiate such obscene behavior. They watched us closely when we laughed at the first insult hurled.
Where is Thumper’s mother when we need her? Remember the rabbit in “Bambi,” the one who chastised her young son for poking fun at the newborn fawn? “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.”
Having worked in journalism for almost 40 years, I know that every issue has at least two, and often multiple, sides. And they aren’t limited to “my side and the wrong side.” True, we can’t be as Pollyanna as Thumper’s mother. What a robotic world we would live in if everyone agreed on every issue. My wants may counter your needs and vice versa. But can’t we, at least, be civil to one another in our disagreement?
As a journalist, I appreciate varying opinions. A good argument always prompts me to reconsider my opinion. However, a flurry of angry insults makes me want to walk away even if the name callers may have a valid rationale. In my book, they lose any credence with the first handful of mud they sling.
I often imagine these naysayers, bless their souls, bent over backwards in order to pat themselves on the back for their cleverness. They must take pride in their cruel wit and mean spiritedness. Even if the trash talker doesn’t spew profanities, slander is profane and it takes the Lord’s name in vain. “Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me.” (Matthew 25:40.) While Jesus was praising do gooders with this remark, the reverse applies equally to those who seek to do harm.
Our trash, both materially and verbally, speaks volumes about us. The time has come for all of us to contemplate our motives before we toss garbage of any kind. Are we really trying to clean house or merely pollute the atmosphere?
(Since I wrote this column in 2009, a recycling program has been instituted where we live, one of our sons found a copy of The Pavilion for me and more and more people appear to speak before they think.)
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