Who would write a book about having life-threatening brain surgery? Comedian Jeannie Gaffigan did. She entitled it When Life Gives You Pears after the pear-sized tumor discovered in her brain.
Who would choose to read a book about such a gruesome topic? I did.
Why? I do not like gory stories of any kind. But, I’m drawn to those literary works that find humor in the midst of tragedy. Think “Mash” or “Fiddler on the Roof.” Shakespeare was its master.
Humorist Erma Bombeck once said, “There’s a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt.”
I know that it took the comedic antics of the Harlem Globetrotters to pull me out of the morass I felt after my dad, a master of comedy himself, died at the young age of 50. Before stepping into that arena, I never thought I would find anything funny again.
Gaffigan, the wife and writing partner of stand up comedian Jim Gaffigan and the mother of their five children, ignored all of the symptoms of her tumor for a long time. She brushed off hearing loss in one ear, headaches and momentary dizziness as symptoms that she was working long hours. She not only managed her husband’s career, she, also, in true motherly-fashion, kept their children, 12 and under in age at the time, at their scheduled places on time in New York City. She dedicates this book to her children.
She quips, “When I take my five kids to the doctor, it’s always a big show because I bring them all at once and there are five of them. It’s like a field trip for shots…Is she really bringing in five kids? Or is she like the dog walker for other people’s kids?”
She starts her introduction with the words, “Don’t you hate it when you have perfected a magnificent schedule and then suddenly you get interrupted by an enormous brain tumor?”
She begins the first chapter with another question, “Am I going to die?” The neurosurgeon told her she wasn’t. But he couldn’t guarantee she wouldn’t experience residual effects, possibly some facial paralysis from the surgery itself. Fortunately, she did not. However, recovery proved to be lengthy, not so much from the surgery, but rather from the pneumonia she caught in the hospital during her stay. The Gaffigans are Catholic and she credits her faith and the prayers of her family, friends and strangers for her recovery.
She says, “I found myself relying heavily on the power of miracles. I believe that a supernatural force was carrying me through the darkest and most difficult moments of this time in my life.”
But the strength of the book lies in the ways that the surgery and lengthy recovery changed her way of thinking. She realized that her micromanagement skills might actually be hindering the growth of her children rather than helping them. They needed her unconditional and tough love, not a minute by minute planned out life. She also embraces a grateful heart and how its perspective has changed her.
She concludes, “I am grateful for the tumor. Grateful I had the chance to almost die so I could be more appreciative of life.”
She encourages her readers to seek the life that a grateful heart directs. While she would not wish a similar experience on others, she acknowledges that most people change after such traumatic events. However, she hopes she inspires others to develop gratitude for life without the aforementioned drama.
As we have moved from Thanksgiving into Advent on the calendar, let us consider the message of Gaffigan’s book. We do not have to suffer trauma to be appreciative of life. Living itself can lead us to a grateful heart which can make all of the difference in living. Thanks be to God.
2021
Comments